Day 6: Love Is Not Self-absorbed

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person whose love is not self-absorbed is called an ‘apostle’ through and through. There are three marks of an apostle. The word apostle comes from the Greek απόστολein (apostolein) meaning ‘sent ones’. All of us can be called απόστολοι or “apostles” simply by virtue of being sent to do a mission. The gospels talk about the first απόστολοι who are called The Twelve. These twelve men were not the only ones sent by Jesus though. There were women also like Mary Magdalene and the others who saw the risen Jesus and were sent by Him to share the good news of the resurrection to the other disciples. The first mark of an apostle’s love comes from outside of himself or herself in the form of the call or command. Who is calling or who is sending? We might want to ask. The apostle’s worthiness or credibility is measured by both the authority and freedom of the one who is calling. This first mark of an apostle is the 'call of God or God's call'. Jesus calls with both divine authority and interior freedom which guarantees the call to be truly and genuinely His call or God's call. This is why an apostle must know how to discern and must pay attention carefully. One must stay away from self-absorption for the call to be heard. Every one of us has to listen well to one's specific call. It is consoling to know that when our Lord makes a choice whom to send he does not simply base it on one’s limited credentials. He chooses with the eyes of mercy first. The Pontifical motto of Pope Francis, came from the old motto that he used when he was made Archbishop of Buenos Aires in 1997. Miserando atque Eligendo, “Lowly but Chosen,” is a line he got from a homily of St Bede on the calling of the Apostle Matthew, “He [Jesus] saw him [Matthew] through the eyes of mercy and chose him.”

The second mark of an apostle is the going out. This mark is also called the 'consummation' of an apostle’s love because it seals, so to speak, the bond just like in marriage. If you do not go out of the self then you are annulled or you stop being an apostle. It would be a contradiction in terms when you claim that you are sent but you stay within yourself, you do not go out, hence, you stay self-absorbed. That cannot be–the one sent goes out to do what one is missioned to do. However our Lord of course respects our freedom–a true apostle must respond freely. A person who is dragging one’s feet is worst than a self-absorbed person which could pose greater risks to the mission area. The Lord calls freely and we must respond too freely. This is very important because after the Lord sends us, we too become his discipulos  (Latin term for student). He gives us specific instructions about what to do. He does not just leave us empty-handed. But what he gives are the bare essentials for the fruition of the mission. “He instructed them to take nothing for the journey but a walking stick–no food, no sack, no money in their belts. They were, however, to wear sandals but not a second tunic.” A true apostle must be detached or indifferent just like Jesus was throughout his earthly life. He set himself as the example to follow. That is the rationale behind the three vows of poverty, chastity, and obedience which are antidotes to becoming self-absorbed once the apostle is already in the mission field.

The third and final mark of an apostle is the ability to constantly recognize that “It is the Lord” alone who labors and directs every catch. Jesus instructs Simon, “Put out into deep water and lower the nets for a catch.” Simon says in reply, “Master, we have worked hard all night and have caught nothing…” An apostle will have to face sleepless nights and even dark nights within one’s soul. Sadly, not all of us will be able to pass this third test to completely move out of self-absorption. Some will fall out of love. The deepest level of love is what the Church Fathers and Mothers call to love with the "purity of heart." Judas, the one who betrayed Jesus and one of The Twelve, failed to purify his heart of a personal agenda which he harbored within. Our initial yes will be followed by a series of yes’s and sometimes even no’s. This is the apostle’s mark of constancy or continuing leap of faith in following Jesus who alone labors and directs the catch. It requires a lot of self-dying and constant trusting in Jesus' words–“I am with you always to the end of the age” (Matthew 28:20). Anyone who constantly recognizes that “It is the Lord” who builds his Kingdom on earth knows that no effort is wasted. The person starts to see everything "Through Heaven's Eyes" (Prince Of Egypt). Do you have the three marks of an apostle?–your call is God's call, consummated and constant. If you do then you are blessed because that makes you a privileged member of the many apostles who can see their mission as being wholly accompanied and directed by the Lord.

An excerpt from a song in the animated film "Prince of Egypt" shows the moment when Moses stepped out of self-absorption and became an 'apostle'. And I quote,

If a man loses everything he owns

Has he truly lost his worth?

Or is it the beginning

Of a new and brighter birth?

So how do you measure the worth of a man

In wealth or strength or size?

In how much he gained or how much he gave?

The answer will come

The answer will come to him who tries

To look at his life through heaven's eyes

Fr JM Manzano SJ