Day 7: Love Is Not Easily Provoked

T

he Greek word παροξύνεται (paroxynetai) in 1 Corinthians 13:5 means ‘To arouse anger, provoke, irritate, to sharpen alongside, to exasperate (Strong's Greek 3947). But the same word is used of St Paul’s actions in Acts 17:16 after being provoked when he arrived to see the city of Athens full of idols. This shows that when he was writing 1 Corinthians 13 he knows from his own experience the possible dangers of being easily provoked.

In William Shakespeare's play Romeo and Juliet, Friar Laurence gave this advice to Romeo, “Wisely and slow. They stumble that run fast” (Act II, iii, 94). If only Romeo, including Friar Laurence himself, had taken the advice so much could have changed in the ending of the play. Friar Laurence promised the couple to marry them, “To turn thy households’ rancor to pure love”–a plan that ended in tragedy.

It is in this same vein that we explore the skill of thinking which should guide any act of loving to avoid being easily aroused or provoked. In Dr Edward de Bono’s “Thinking Course” he speaks about the need to think slowly, I quote,

"Most of the time we think far too quickly. I include myself in that 'we'. Perhaps tests and examinations have persuaded us that there is a value in getting to the answer as quickly as possible. Yet from a thinking point of view that is wrong. Even in an emergency there is plenty of time to think slowly. In hotel fires most deaths are caused by panic. Instead of zooming through to a conclusion we need to think slowly–step by step as suggested in the drawing below. At each point we look around to see where we are and explore the surroundings."

The first verse of Elvis Presley's song goes “Wise men say, only fools rush in” but in Proverbs 17:28 we are told “Even a fool, when he keeps silent, is considered wise; when he closes his lips, he is considered prudent.” Let us ask ourselves, “Have I been more sorry for speaking out or for staying silent?” Speaking out these days through social media can even be more damaging with just a click. That is why it is good to think first before we click.

Fr JM Manzano SJ